Monday, August 27, 2007

Mood for Spanking Stories

I wish I had the time to write one. I wish I had the patience to continue one. I wish I had the strength again to bring them right from my imagination and dreams to the paper. But right now I cannot. So I resumed to reading.

How did my mood kick back? Strangely enough, evey now and then, I go through a very stressful period. Last year around October - November I was still trying to find a job. Around January this year I was trying to find a job, I was studying for my exams, and preparing a dissertation. Right now I have a job which I absolutely love, I am very appreciated, but I want a nice salary increase and a promotion as soon as a position opens. And when you are appreciated and you know you are on the right road to happiness, you are even more scared of making a mistake. And all these are happening while a heavy workload period is approaching. So here I was two days ago. And then I found this magazine and a very promissing commercial for a woman's magazine. The subject of the article? Spanking. The picture? Perfect combination of sensuality and promissing violence. What next? Hit the net like a maniac, all circuits activated in my brain, searching for spanking stories.

For some reason I lost my interest right now in M/F spanking stories. I just feel like they are repeating the same theme. So I dived in what I was interested before I discovered that spanking was sexual to me: M/m. Why M/m? Oh, it's hard to explain. Maybe because most books I read as a child involved only M/m's? Because mostly boys were spanked when I was small? Beats me, honestly. But an M/m story reaches my brain extremely fast.

I like GuySpencer's stories. I know there were a few more writers of M/m fiction but I can't remember their names. Anyway, I managed to cross the bridge to M/F thanks to Charles' (Handyman) stories, then Bookbabe (May she rest in peace, because she was a Goddess when it came to writing spanking stories!), Mija... Later on, on SSS, I found Haron and Mick. Probably they were writing the closest to what I liked. And I don't mean it in terms of interests, but I am referring to style. Sometimes it doesn't even matter who spanks who anymore, but it all resumes to hitting the right spot.


Right now I am in that headspace where I want to dream of spanking. I am so obsessed with it that not even the mother of all spankings would cure me. It's scary but soothing...

Fuck. I have no idea what to do. Trapped in my own fantasies; hard to escape when you cannot write. And it's too late now to write what is on my mind.

So fucking trapped...

I'm not even drunk, you know. If I were drunk I'd say: oh, it's ok, it will pass till morning. My ass. It won't pass at all.

And this mood gives the craziest energy you can possibly think of. Today I was wishing they had a boxing sack somewhere in the company so I can kick something. I teased without wanting to tease. My mouth was opening without my brain thinking. What the heck is wrong me? God!

And then there is Jack... sleeping like a baby right now. And I feel like dressing up in the middle of the night, waking him up and asking him to play with me my craziest fantasy and spank the lights out of me. hehe It could be funny if it weren't sad.

Anyway, catch ya later. I don't want posting to become an addiction again, especially when I don't have stories to tell.


Abel said...

Hi, Kayley

This is a really powerful post, and I hope you find a way through your frustration soon.

You say that you don't have the time or patience to write your ideas down as stories. I can understand that - I used to churn out stories very regularly, but as work pressures have increased over the years, I only now have time to write one every few months.

If it helps, one thing I've found helpful is not to worry about writing a full-blown story, but just to share the bare outlines of the idea as a short blog post. That way I feel like I'm writing creatively, capturing the idea, but not having to worry about the time it would take to flesh it out into a fully polished story.

That said, I still have a file with over 200 ideas written down, which need writing some day, but the list just keeps growing!

Kayley said...

Thanks Abel! Yes. I agree - that is a very good idea. 'Thing is my fantasies - while keeping the basic theme - change regularly. I would be so much over them at times that they become like movies you have seem too many times before.

I remember what S.King said - write down the first draft as fast as you can, because wasting too much time over it causes you to lose spontaneity.

So that's how many of my ideas went down the drain (if you can say that). hehe

But yes, looking for new ones constatly and never spending too much time on them is the road to happiness. ;)

Thanks again!
And you and Haron keep up the good work on your blog! :) It's always a delight! :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kayley said...

Well, I had to delete that nonsense - I am sure that many of you blog owners had fun with that never ending 'comment'. Or SPAM. What our annoying anonymous intruder hasn't realized is that GODS PUNISH SPAMMERS!GODS PUNISH INTOLERANCE towards human nature.

Oh well... and I thought I was crazy. I would wear garlic around my neck if that would keep this guy or girl away from me! *shudders*

Natty said...

I got that spam too. It was really funny for the first paragraph and then just took up way too much space in my comments section.

Regarding M/m stories -- omg! Me too! And I think it is because those scenes feel most authentic. That and I think, say, guys in a boarding school sorts of stories have some weird chemistry that is so appealing.

And I probably have written fewer stories the last few years because it's so hard to come up with unique ways for someone to get spanked. And the stories I have written are often dark, dysfunctional stories rather than my fantasies.

Even though I'm fantasizing like crazy lately. ;)

Pixiepie said...

hope you found your inspiration. :)

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