Monday, August 27, 2007

Mood for Spanking Stories

I wish I had the time to write one. I wish I had the patience to continue one. I wish I had the strength again to bring them right from my imagination and dreams to the paper. But right now I cannot. So I resumed to reading.

How did my mood kick back? Strangely enough, evey now and then, I go through a very stressful period. Last year around October - November I was still trying to find a job. Around January this year I was trying to find a job, I was studying for my exams, and preparing a dissertation. Right now I have a job which I absolutely love, I am very appreciated, but I want a nice salary increase and a promotion as soon as a position opens. And when you are appreciated and you know you are on the right road to happiness, you are even more scared of making a mistake. And all these are happening while a heavy workload period is approaching. So here I was two days ago. And then I found this magazine and a very promissing commercial for a woman's magazine. The subject of the article? Spanking. The picture? Perfect combination of sensuality and promissing violence. What next? Hit the net like a maniac, all circuits activated in my brain, searching for spanking stories.

For some reason I lost my interest right now in M/F spanking stories. I just feel like they are repeating the same theme. So I dived in what I was interested before I discovered that spanking was sexual to me: M/m. Why M/m? Oh, it's hard to explain. Maybe because most books I read as a child involved only M/m's? Because mostly boys were spanked when I was small? Beats me, honestly. But an M/m story reaches my brain extremely fast.

I like GuySpencer's stories. I know there were a few more writers of M/m fiction but I can't remember their names. Anyway, I managed to cross the bridge to M/F thanks to Charles' (Handyman) stories, then Bookbabe (May she rest in peace, because she was a Goddess when it came to writing spanking stories!), Mija... Later on, on SSS, I found Haron and Mick. Probably they were writing the closest to what I liked. And I don't mean it in terms of interests, but I am referring to style. Sometimes it doesn't even matter who spanks who anymore, but it all resumes to hitting the right spot.


Right now I am in that headspace where I want to dream of spanking. I am so obsessed with it that not even the mother of all spankings would cure me. It's scary but soothing...

Fuck. I have no idea what to do. Trapped in my own fantasies; hard to escape when you cannot write. And it's too late now to write what is on my mind.

So fucking trapped...

I'm not even drunk, you know. If I were drunk I'd say: oh, it's ok, it will pass till morning. My ass. It won't pass at all.

And this mood gives the craziest energy you can possibly think of. Today I was wishing they had a boxing sack somewhere in the company so I can kick something. I teased without wanting to tease. My mouth was opening without my brain thinking. What the heck is wrong me? God!

And then there is Jack... sleeping like a baby right now. And I feel like dressing up in the middle of the night, waking him up and asking him to play with me my craziest fantasy and spank the lights out of me. hehe It could be funny if it weren't sad.

Anyway, catch ya later. I don't want posting to become an addiction again, especially when I don't have stories to tell.