Tuesday, November 13, 2007

What's in a Name?

It takes me 15 minutes to get to work the moment I get on the subway. And usually, after the 3rd of 4th stop only a few people remain on. I usually get to sit and think.

Let's say you've been together for a while (or not) with this guy and you decide to sleep with him. While being a perfect gentleman in everyday life, he turns out to be dominant in bed. Girls, a dominant in bed is a safe bet - from the spanking point of view.

I mean... dominant. What is dominant? It's someone who likes to have control in bed - because we are talking about sexual things here. It's only a way of being. But a way of being needs to have something beneath - something deeper. Like a submissive in bed. How do you become submissive? When you let yourself being tied down... when you let him grab your hair and slap your butt... when you let go. So, ok, you are dominant, but how do you show it? It's hard to explain, but there has to be a cause. And from liking to grab someone's hair to slapping some butt and then spanking, is not a long road.

Take my guy for example... He liked to have control. Ok, he's not the obsessed spanker, but hell, we have some good sex and spanking around here!


Paul asked:

"Kay, what, exactly is your point!!?
Warm hugs,

I knew I wasn't clear enough when I closed the damn comment. I was going to excuse myself and say: "sorry, I can't explain what the heck I mean?" Because, you know how it is when you get a 'flash' of something - an impression. The synapsis is so fast that your mind can't understand what it means, however, you are very clear about what the 'thought' implies.

Anyway... I was thinking again about Paul's question today. I think I meant that when you look for a guy who could become a spanko in the future, a dominant in bed - even if he is not a spanker - is a pretty safe bet. Because domination has to be achieved through something. (Do you understand what I mean by 'domination has to be achieved somehow?") And if domination will turn him on, spanking could also, more or less, since it is a form of domination.


Paul said...

Kay, what, exactly is your point!!?
Warm hugs,

Paul said...

Kay, I think that I understand.
Being a Dom I had assumed that most guys are at sometime or another dominant in bed.
Unfortunately, as many a would be girl spankee's will tell you, it's a long step from being a Dom in bed to being a good spanker.
The cultural chasm is very wide.
The need to be spanked is hard to get across.
The good thing about comments I have found, is it aids communication, Now I understand a bit better what you are getting at.
Warm hugs,