Privacy

You don't miss it much until you lose it for a few weeks. That is my case and Jack's. My parents have been around for like two-three weeks, helping us (a LOT) with the re-construction work in our appartment. We desperately need a bit of privacy.

The previous story I wrote went out worse than expected - it's not a disaster but not the total success I had in mind, either. While I explained to Eric in an email (even though he knew better than I) what went wrong, now I have the feeling that that was not all. I think the main explanation is that writing a spanking story with people constantly asking you questions and talking around you and passing behind you turns creation into a struggle. It showed.

Last night I began another story, M/F this time, and almost finished it. I had again the feeling that I couldn't dive into the world I was creating for the same reason: inability to focus because of too many people moving around. (*grumbling* And It happens again right now!)

Honestly, I was planning on finishing my story tonight but after a six-hour drive I am pretty tired. And my eyes are closing. And having 6 people around, not 3, makes it even worse.


Anyway, today I got into this funny cuddling mood in the morning. I was desperate for some attention. And therefore, I was hyper. Jack and I finally caught about 40 minutes alone, if not less, and I wanted to cuddle. It seems that my definition of cuddle also comprises biting, kissing, and doing all sorts of weird things which Jack understood as a sign that I needed the other special kind of attention. So I got a good hand-spanking, enough to make my butt red. He couldn't go further because we were expecting my Dad to get back home (we were preparing for the 6 hours drive). It helped. A red butt helps your mind clear. This morning I could have taken a lot, honestly.

I will spare you the details of what followed because, for some reason, I don't like writing about what can happen (and almost always happens) after a spanking but we were in the middle of it when we heard the door and my Dad came in. I had time to pull up my pants and Jack had time to calm himself down - if you know what I mean. *eg* But we continued and finished our work in the bathroom. Probably we were both too loaded to just drop it. It was a very akward moment for us but we do hope that my Dad hasn't got a clue what the fuck was going on.

Anyway... I might be in the mood for a spanking again. But then when ain't I? hehe

Question about Writing

I have to know this. It's, of course, a matter of preference, but just indulge me: when writing or imagining a spanking scene, what's your favorite moment:

• the set-up of the scene, with the 'chat' before the spanking and the ritual of getting undressed, etc;
• the spanking itself;
• the aftermath, with its mixed feelings - the wrap-up, in other words.

I usually see first the big picture, the emotion, the reaction of the characters in this scene. I know how the dialog will go (and anyone reading any of my stories knows that I am a dialog freak) and I see the emotions playing on the characters' faces.

Then I might see a bit of the spanking scene - which tells me the implement, the location, and the way the characters will react during the spanking.

When I am pleased with the two things above, I look for what might have caused the incident. Sometimes I see the incident before I see any of the above, but usually I start with the moment the person gets caught get handed.

The ending plays itself naturally while I write and many times I change my mind as I write along. Sometimes - like the next day - I remember I wanted to add extra dialog or an extra scene somewhere and I go back to it. But that happens rarely since I usually write and post the story the same day.

And while I'm writing, I am constatly seeing the next scene. I write for what will follow. And my energy is extremely high until I reach the spanking itself. This is where I pause for a long time. Writing the spanking is not coming that naturally to me. In my eyes, there isn't much place for playing here. It kills the fun. In how many ways can you describe the way the belt falls, the pain, the tears, the cries? A scene describing a spanking is of no interest to me even when I read a spanking story - I need the dialog. I need to see the spanking, hear it, smell it even. I guess I am the visual generation. It has to do with the setting too - I like stories which are set in modern families; I am not attracted in the slightest to the Victorian times, etc.

I also like writing the ending. But by the time I reach this point I am exhausted.

Sometimes I look for words to describe what I see and what I feel; sometimes I find them, sometimes I don't. To make the connection between your brain and your words work you need a lot of reading and writing and then more reading and more writing. If I don't read (a book, I mean) for two weeks, I already feel that something is seriously wrong with my writing. Even so, I go on until I finish the story.

Then there are those states of mind when everything unwrappes smoothly and each piece finds its place in the puzzle of the story. If I am tired, I can't reach this state.

And I write best when I am not tired, obviously, either early in the morning, or late at night.

What about you?

Spanking Stories

Hey folks,

I've just posted another Alex spanking story. Last night I was going to start an M/F one, but then I realized that I had started this M/m about a month ago and never got to finish it. I was in the mood last night, so I worked on it. I was still trapped in its spirit - which is what you want when you decide to write or rewrite.

Anyway, I will start working on the other one probably tomorrow, since today I am exhausted from work. And I have one more in my head - another Alex story, but placed at a time when Alex was about nine years old. I doubt I will get much audience for it but as you know, sometimes I don't care about audience - I only care about writing. Besides, I *know* for a fact that the rare audience searching for M/m spanking stories is not very priviledged given that the net doesn't provide many of these kind of stories. So, someone, sometime, will be happy to run into mine. ;)

Peace!

Spanking spanking...

and spanking... dreaming of spanking... I am so focused on it right now that I could type a whole post only by repeating the word 'spanking'...

Anyway, except for a few occasional swats I didn't get much lately. I believe it is coming though - it should be. Spanking... I'll set my mind to dream of a good spanking tonight!

Yeah... and a Happy New Year

Just put a gun to my head and shoot me. No, it's not that bad - just bad. Maybe I dream too much hoping for things to be nice... N/m.

I locked myself twice in the bathroom already and the last time I scratched my forearm with the scissors. I do it only when my brain is exploding. This time it was. It's too much preasure and too much unhappiness in this world. And I will be alive who knows how much more to witness all the shit happening in this world. I grew tired of seeing animals without shelter or food, people and children starving... people do not care. I feel guilty spending money because others do not have. And I hate alcohol and drunk people. Ok, I am ok if someone drinks but if that drinking happens once and I don't get to witness it often. Do you know how ti feels to feel trapped into this fucking world - no way out? I mean what is the way out? There isn't one, you see, because if you die more people who do not care are left into the world. That's not a risk I want to take.

No, I am not drunk. I haven't drunk anything yet, mind me. I am just very sober and very tired of many things. I can't even write more folks because people are passing by and shit...

Anyway, cutting yourself to clear your mind is a solution. Sometimes. A bad choice, but a solution.

Merry Xmas Y'All! :)

This might be my last post for the next three days. I am not sure, of course, but since Christmas is coming and my parents as well, I might not be able to post too soon. Sooo... Merry Christmas you all and see you after the holidays. :)

I also want to apologize because those who have subscribed might get some crazy update email from my site, but I will add a few Xmas decorations on my page today. So... sorry about the spam email. :)

All the Xmas clip art belongs to Free
Clipart or Photos: www.ace-clipart.com.

Over Being Drunk

Yeah, I got over it. Like I said, yesterday I felt like shit, really... Today I slept untill 11,30am. Jack was a little pissed off at me for staying up very late again and smoking too much. I woke up with an incredible cough.

SInce Christmas is falling on Tuesday and I didn't take Monday off, I cannot go visit my parents. The trip takes about 5 hours on a good day, so with the traffic and stuff it would take about 6. My parents will come visit. Oh well...

I should do some shopping - I didn't buy ANYTHING yet because I didn't have time. It sucks. I mean normally, by this time of the year, I would have had all the presents. I haven't even bought food yet. It's not good... And it's extremely cold outside.

Cheers! Hope your shopping was better than mine...

Poll: What's Your Favorite Room?

I made a poll out of this question just out of curiosity. If you have any reasons why you have picked an answer, feel free to share. :)

My fav is the bathroom. Whenever I want to be alone with my thoughts, I move to the bathroom. I like closed places, with no windows (if possible), isolated from all the noise outside or inside... And the bathroom is like a sanctuary to me.

I cried there, I dreamed, I cut myself when I was younger, I talk on the phone for hours, I smoked, I drank and chatted at parties, I hid in there when I was in trouble... It's such a quiet and peaceful place. I even studied in the bathroom, when I was cutting classes and was preparing for exams 3 days ahead, studying my ass off from morning till morning. I wrote in the bathroom, on my laptop... I run the water - because I love the sound of running water, and I sit there with my cats around me. I don't need the bathroom to be a luxurious place. I just want something cozy.

I love bathrooms... :)

Your turn.

I Hate CCBill

Yes, I know I said it before - about a year ago, but this time I want to underline it.

Do you know how bad it is to decide that you want something - and I mean over the past couple of weeks I've been checking spanking sites again and I wasn't too sure I wanted to subscribe to some of them (until today) - and not be able to get it? And it's not even up to me?...

Do I have to move to the States and make myself a card there in order to pay CCB???

Anyway... let's skip this state of mind, shall we? Before I say a few more things... If you haven't realized it yet - I'm in a sassy mood. REALLY sassy mood.

Been visiting for the past 5 or 6 hours SpankingCentral and I liked what I saw. I started being interested somewhere starting Volume 8 or 9 I think. And by the time I reached 15 I was hooked. I like some of the guys. Oh, yeah, forgot to mention, it's an M/m spanking place. Disappointed some of you? Well, shit happens. Or maybe you wonder when will I snap out of my M/m mood, eh? Good questions. But probably never, since it's been with me since I was 5, you know?

Anyway, I think I "finally" figured out (I figure out something new every day so get used to it!) why M/m is more fun to watch than M/f. I also told you that I've been watching spanking clips with girls yesterday (actually today) until 5am. None really satisfied me. They lack something. You see, a guy takes it like a guy and a girl takes it like a girl. It's that simple. So you mostly cannot dish to a girl what you dish to a guy.

And there are two kinds of guys - the ones who take it silently and you just see them crying - which is a lot more fun since you know when the pain really gets to them; and the ones who are 'gone' from the beginning.

Anyway, this guy on CentralSpanking is hot: Seth. What's hot about him? The way he acts. The way he smirks. And the way his smirk is gone when he gets whacked. *evil grin*

Ok, people, talk to you later... it's 1am, again - this morning's spanking didn't help much it seems hehe - and I wanna wander a bit online. :)

*coughing her lungs out* :( I am coughing - shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! I forgot my antibiotics!! ok done took them. So... I am coughing my lungs out and I am getting black spots in front of my eyes from so much coughing. :( Maybe I should stop smoking when I am sick, right?... Yeah, maybe. Or maybe I should just wait for this virus to move away and hang on in here...

Rambling again - you see, last time I tried to quit (November last year, I think), Jack was away, and I was so down... I mean I always thought that quitting qould be like snapping your fingers. I mean, I am strong enough to control tantrums, right? Wrong. I remember I started crying back then for no reason. I was so desperate and I had no reason to be. I was shouting on the phone at everyone who would call... so this is why I cannot quit now. I don't have the right frame of mind.

Peace!

Meme Again... The Four Things

Found it on a few blogs lately:

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. can't mention any; if someone comes on my site and reads these two, they know from the start who I am. Sorry guys...


Four movies I have seen more than once:
1. Maverick
2. The Others
3. What Women Wants
4. Duets

Four places I have lived:
1. Where I grew up
2. Where I went to school
3. Where I went to university
4. Where I got married (now I moved again hehe)

Four Shows that I watch (not necessarily regularly)
1. Merge
2. Location.. location...location...
3. Anything on BBC Prime when I get the chance... everything they have on is fine with me.

Four places I have been:
1. London
2. Vienna
3. Egypt
4. Italy

Four People who e-mail me (regularly):
1. Masters Friend #1
2. Masters Friend #2
3. Best friend
4. Does spam mail count? lol

Four of my favorite foods:
...generally speaking I like...
1. chocolate
2. chestnuts
3. pizza
4. ?

Four places I would rather be right now.
1. Abroad
2. In a nice house
3. In the corner, with a spanking on its way
4. My grandparents' house

Four things I am looking forward to this year
1. Getting a new appartment and having more rooms for my pets
2. Getting a promotion
3. Saving animals or convincing people about animal rights
4. Writing my damn book already

Happy times
1. Christmas with my family (never to be the same after both my grandparents passed away but that's life)
2. 'No work today' the kind of day
3. Chatting with Jack

Funny...

I have my badge from work on the desk and while I was staring at my amused face in the picture I was wondering - "what are the chances of a spanko recognizing another spanko on the street?".

How should a spanko's face look like? Well, not like my picture on the badge, that's for sure. I look like I have no worry in this world - a big fat smile, shiny eyes... Yeah, it was my 1st day there, that's why I was so bright! hehe

Take a pic now to see two hollow eyes, dark in their orbits, and my smile would probably be a grimace. :)

Yeah, nothing to do with spanking I guess. But that's normal. It's 10 o'clock sharp here and even though I wanted to write a little today I ended up playing American Football on my PS2. And time flew. Flew... my head got mixed for a second with the spelling. Does it ever happen to you? I mean sometimes I have to write the word down to remember how to spell it - and it always happens when someone asks you how to spell something, you know? And while you normally type it unconsciously, you cannot spell it when you're asked. hehe