About Spanking Moods Again and the Origins of Spanking

I suppose it's a sort of question to everyone interested...

How were your before you found the spanking community? What was your approach to spanking? How much have you changed - or your interests have changed - since then? Have you evolved in any way? Don't you feel that spanking became a stronger obsession than before?

Eric's previous comment triggered this question. Because I certainly remember that before I knew spanking was sexual for me (about 17 I guess hehe and right at the moment that I started reading spanking stories) I had moods: I wouldn't think or care about spanking for months, so much so that soetimes I thought I was 'cured'. Then for a few weeks I was obsessed with it - sometimes I induced my obsession, trying to get over the stress in my real life - and then I was ok again.

NOW, however, I am into spanking more often than I am not. And the obsession grows stronger - the more I read, the deeper I sink. I feel almost like a psycho at times, looking for ways to chop the next victim. Honestly. I am reading stories and blogs sometimes - or writing - like there is no tomorrow.

And speaking of obsessions and mental diseases - I do not recall in which Freud's book this was written - but I certainly remember reading it in my teenage years - 15-17 was the age when I read everything Freud wrote and that made me a bit cuckoo in the head. hehe Back then I wasn't aware that his theories are a bit 'old-fashioned' and most of them are not even accepted anymore. So when I read his work on SM in which he claims that all of us with this spanking interest will end up going very crazy (not using medical terms because I don't remember them anymore to describe exactly how he put it) I freaked out quite badly. First. Then I stopped caring. Out of defiance, really, not because I knew better.

Anyway, I found this very interesting article. I am still extremely interested in the 'why me' and 'how'. Maybe it is just a very dark part of me that I cannot fully understand - and I am the kind who cares about what I feel and especially "why" I feelt that way. So... reading material for you, folks:

http://culturesocietypraxis.org/index.php/csp/article/viewFile/100/66

Seriously Now...

The thought was triggered about Juju's post. It's an old one, but it keeps coming back...

What on earth would you do if you had a kid interested in spanking? Honestly guys. I know it's a tough issue you don't wanna think about. But really... how would you feel? Would you freak out? Would you be scared? Would you share?

I'm going to use my example. I was always into spanking and my parents - and my aunt and gramma - realized it by the time I was 15. Even earlier I would dare say. I am sure they didn't know what to make of it - they probably thought it was something related to puberty and shit, you know? They never mentioned it. But the word 'spanking' coming out of their mouth was always spoken on a funny tone. I can't explain what 'funny tone' means, but trust me, it was funny. My relationship with my parents was a bit cold. I told my Mom that I love her once in my life. She is not a cold person but... I don't know... there is something odd in between us. She loves me and she sacrifices everything for me, even now, but there is something odd somewhere... I am somewhat positive that my Mom has, in her blood, a bit of the spanking virus. Not much, but just a bit - enough to make the word sound 'funny' when spoken.

I am into spanking 100%, so much so that for me spanking is much better than sex. Now if my kid would show signs of interests into spanking by the age of 14-15, I would definitely come forward. I don't want him/her to go through what I went through, not knowing what the fuck was going on; thinking he/she had a problem, etc.

Now if I would want that to happen to him or her? It sounds extremely degenerated and selfish maybe, but I wouldn't mind. And that is because I don't think there is anything wrong with liking spankings. Furthermore, I believe that people with such a kink have a much better sex life than others. Finding the significant other might be tough, but it might be worth the waiting. That's my view and you don't need to agree with me. :)

Audio? and Some Other Nonsense...

Ok... You guys remember Castle Handyman's website? He had stories and then he had the audio versions of them. I LOVED that.

Unfortunately for me I am not a native English speaker and I live in a studio with my husband, so recording myself reading the story would be almost impossible...

Anybody out there interested in reading one and maybe editting some shit to make sure it's gramatically correct? This is just a call and I pretty much know I won't get a 'yes' from anybody, but we are allowed to try, aren't we? *dry laugh*

Anyway... on the line... I might have a fellow spanko working in the same company with me. I'll let ya guys know the story soon enough. This would be the funniest crap ever! *chuckling*

I Hate CCBill

Yes, I know I said it before - about a year ago, but this time I want to underline it.

Do you know how bad it is to decide that you want something - and I mean over the past couple of weeks I've been checking spanking sites again and I wasn't too sure I wanted to subscribe to some of them (until today) - and not be able to get it? And it's not even up to me?...

Do I have to move to the States and make myself a card there in order to pay CCB???

Anyway... let's skip this state of mind, shall we? Before I say a few more things... If you haven't realized it yet - I'm in a sassy mood. REALLY sassy mood.

Been visiting for the past 5 or 6 hours SpankingCentral and I liked what I saw. I started being interested somewhere starting Volume 8 or 9 I think. And by the time I reached 15 I was hooked. I like some of the guys. Oh, yeah, forgot to mention, it's an M/m spanking place. Disappointed some of you? Well, shit happens. Or maybe you wonder when will I snap out of my M/m mood, eh? Good questions. But probably never, since it's been with me since I was 5, you know?

Anyway, I think I "finally" figured out (I figure out something new every day so get used to it!) why M/m is more fun to watch than M/f. I also told you that I've been watching spanking clips with girls yesterday (actually today) until 5am. None really satisfied me. They lack something. You see, a guy takes it like a guy and a girl takes it like a girl. It's that simple. So you mostly cannot dish to a girl what you dish to a guy.

And there are two kinds of guys - the ones who take it silently and you just see them crying - which is a lot more fun since you know when the pain really gets to them; and the ones who are 'gone' from the beginning.

Anyway, this guy on CentralSpanking is hot: Seth. What's hot about him? The way he acts. The way he smirks. And the way his smirk is gone when he gets whacked. *evil grin*

Ok, people, talk to you later... it's 1am, again - this morning's spanking didn't help much it seems hehe - and I wanna wander a bit online. :)

*coughing her lungs out* :( I am coughing - shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! I forgot my antibiotics!! ok done took them. So... I am coughing my lungs out and I am getting black spots in front of my eyes from so much coughing. :( Maybe I should stop smoking when I am sick, right?... Yeah, maybe. Or maybe I should just wait for this virus to move away and hang on in here...

Rambling again - you see, last time I tried to quit (November last year, I think), Jack was away, and I was so down... I mean I always thought that quitting qould be like snapping your fingers. I mean, I am strong enough to control tantrums, right? Wrong. I remember I started crying back then for no reason. I was so desperate and I had no reason to be. I was shouting on the phone at everyone who would call... so this is why I cannot quit now. I don't have the right frame of mind.

Peace!

If I Were a Male Top...

So, girls, if you were a male top, how would you be?

I would be a teaser. I would be sarcastic. I would be witty. I would dare the bottom to break the rules. I would never stop in the middle of a spanking, no matter what. I would play the cats and mice game, always giving a false hope. I would keep my promisses. I would be inventive. And I would announce the spankings unexpectedly and matter-of-factly.

How I wish I were a male top really... Maybe in another life. 'Cause I hope I will care my interest into my next life...

***

Initially I stopped there and published the post. Then I remembered something I did. A few years ago I was using a spanking chat room and once, my friend dared me to log in as a male top. In a virtual world, everything is possible. It's the same as playing a PS2 or PC game, with you being the main male character. It's like playing Leisure Suit Larry and trying to fuck all the girls in town.

When you are a female bottom you certainly know what female bottoms need and want. More or less, they are all the same. Women have something which most men don't have as tops. They like to play weird games and to tease. I cannot explain in which sense, but it certainly is different from men. So if you find such a top, hold onto him. ;)

So I got in, found a victim, and started my game. It was so much fun that I did the same the next day, same girl. Then I had to stop mostly because she wanted more than spanking and I'm not into that. Strange for some, but I achieve all I need through spanking. If God left me only with spanking, I would not complain one bit.

Feeling the power a top has - both through the status and through the simple fact that a man is stronger than a woman - made me feel great. So to the "If I were a Top..." I can also add... "I would be evil". I was evil. Which made the girl like it even more. What's wrong with girls? hehe

Nihoahoa! - Ramblings

That would describe my mood.

Oh, you people must think that I'm psychotic - I come out of the dark only when I go berserk. Hmmm... It must be true though. If I were to read my latest posts I don't see any trace of normality.

Anyway - spanking mood hit again. Still M/m. Why the heck does it happen like this? No, I am not complaining... I'm just puzzled.

I've been on vacation for like two weeks, and for three or four days in a row I actually woke up having spanking dreams. Do you know how hard I try to get those when I am get into spanking moods? And do you know that it never happens then? But tyis time - lo and behold - every morning I woke up I was wet.

I had again lots of crap to take care of when I got back to work... then someone innocently 'spanked' me on Facebook. And here I am again...

Natty said in a comment something about dark stories... 'dysfunctional' was the word she used. I would like to see those though... :) I might as well break the 'pattern' and write something M/m soon. I need to. I mean I grew up writing only M/m. M/m allows for longer and harsher spankings - and you don't think of them as harsher just because the person getting spanked is a boy, and theoretically boys are harder to bring to tears.

You know what's funny about M/m's? The guy getting it - and in my fantasy ages range from 11 to 17 - try to keep a straight face all the way to the end. The tendency to disobey is higher after a spanking. And I like the way in my fantasies guys always try to play kool. And maybe M/m is stronger for me because it seems more intense - even psychologically speaking. Plus... a guy getting spanked obviously is a 'bad guy'. And girls tend to fall in love with the negative character who actually has a good heart. hehe

Yeah... time to get a paper and start writing. Why not on my laptop? Because my eyes hurt really bad from work already - almost a migraine.

Cheers and thanks for passing bye and commenting everyone! :)

The Beautiful Reflection of Your Bottom

I thought it was Pablo's fascinating real life story, "Surfing", that brought this idea back to me.

How hard is it to enjoy your body? You do admire it in the mirror, each time you take a shower or change your clothes. You check your boobs, your tummy, your arms, your butt. You check yourself... everything - as in one of the "Sex and the City" episodes, you even check your 'sushi'! You check your bottom after a good spank. But you rarely - if ever - check any of these when your guy is around. You don't mind dressing up for him and you don't mind when he sees you naked. Then why do you mind if he spanks you in front of a mirror?

You know he's looking, watching every move you make, watching your face traits change, and the fall of his hand on your bottom. But many of us have a problem watching ourselves in the mirror when getting spanked.

I wish I could do it. I wish I could follow the scene; but I can't. I risked a peek once, for only a few seconds. I saw him watching me watch and I refused to look again. It embarassed me.

I doubt that I got over it now, but... if only I had a mirror again, as big as the one in our old house, I could give it one more try!

Control vs Spanking Interest

Let's have a chat on this, shall we?

Honestly, my mind was blank today on spanking issues to discuss, mostly because my real life is busy with school and work crap. But then I remembered this control and spanking stuff Jack and I talked about a few weeks ago.

Some of the normal people out there - yes, we call the "Vanillas" because they are funny individuals - are turned on by 'control' when having sex. A friend of mine stated once that her fiance looks a lot sexier and hotter when he pins her hands down and takes over, or when he ties her up. Another friend said that she cannot have a proper orgasm unless he is 'the boss' in bed. Many guys out there have the same domination problem. But when it comes to spanking... blank. Nothing happens. Maybe a few slaps on her/his ass might be arousing, but taking spanking to a whole different level and making it an erotic activity of its own is not an option for them.

Why?

For me spanking equals control. Spanking is about domination and submission. Can it be that vanilla minds view spanking as the means to get bruised? Would they like spanking if they tried it?

My answer might shock you, but I definitely think they would. If only they could take a step forward and change their views a bit, broaden their wavelengths to understand the spankos' points of view.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe spanking is ultimately about pain. It is related to masochism, isn't it, and people who like control are not really sadistic or masochistic. But I am quite sure that in the back of their minds the word 'spanking' is lurking. Quite in the same way in which some you guys *wink wink hehe* are lurking around here... Umm, sorry for changing the subject. :)

You wonder why I bother to write about a boring topic such as Vanillas? Maybe because half of us, spankos, are into a vanilla-spanking relationship and are either doing fine, or not doing fine at all.

I am just saying that it is easier to convert a control freak of any kind to spanking than a completely normal person whose interest may lie in other fetishes, like stockings. Ok, I cannot comment on that one, since it's not my thing, but I would guess that stockings have nothing to do with control. Not on their own, anyway. I am just saying that there still is hope out there for some.

Obviously, you can get a spanking without the guy liking it, but wouldn't it be hot if he got excited during a spanking? :) Anyway, peseverance solves the problems. Usually.

I'm also going to add a link to Tigger's Wankable Wednesday. Because it's fun! :)


Peace!