Spankings

I'm coming back from JuJu's blog. I have to write. She started me. :)

I said many times that I was not spanked as a child. Partly true.

Until 7 my grandparents raised me at their own house, in the country. It was great. I was spoilt but my Grandma used to tell me that even though I was very naughty and full of energy, and even though I climbed all the trees and the fences that could be climbed, she never feared that I could fall or break my kneck. Because I wasn't wreckless. And I know that. I know that I estimated always my weight and the branch's resistance before I stepped on it. I made bows and arrows for myself and stole knives from the kitchen, yet I never cut myself. So that's what my Grandma meant. However, I was guilty because I had a very bad mouth. A big mouth. I remember how many times my Grandma ran after me with a rod. I remeber she slapped my legs now and then with various things. I was very proud. She used this tactic: I kick you out of the house and go do what you want and you are not coming in until you apologize. And I wasn't apologizing, but, instead, I was getting my dog and walking away. Once I made room for myself to sleep in the doghouse. I would have rather had that than apologize and crash my ego.

My grandfather never slapped me though. He was threatening me when we were playing tricks on him with my friends, but he never lay a finger on me. Once though, they called me for lunch (I hated food!) and I refused to come. They didn't know where I was. They called and called but I had hidden in the corn field. They both chased me - imagine two old people chasing a brat in a corn field - and caught me in the end. I don't know what the discussion was about but I know my Grandpa was very mad. He actually took off his belt to spank me. My Grandma stopped him though. However, I remeber I did not feel humiliated by that - in comparison to a situation which I am about to write in a bit. I was scared, but not humiliated. He could have spanked me and I woould have not felt anger towards him.

My parents used to visit every weekend and I know we all had a wonderful time. Then, by the time I was seven and went to school and to live with my parents, my fathr had started drinking. He was drinking a little at the beginning, but by the time I was 12 he had become a heavy drinker. The fights between him and my Mom happened every night. I had exams the next day or school contests and I was unable to sleep until 1-2 at night. At 12 I broke my neck and once he came home drunk, and even though I was in a cascet from head to waist, he pushed me and I fell. I don't remember it exactly but my Mom reminds him that sometimes, when he drinks. Sometimes he was aggressive - breaking plates in the kitchen. Sometimes he was talking for hours sitting on my bed, as I couldn't sleep. He never hit me though. And when he was sober, he was the most incredible guy in the world. Hard to believe, eh?

Anyway, when I was about 8 or 9, I remember I had a stupid homework that I refused to do. I had been out for very long, refused to come home in time for homeworks, and now I was very tired and angry. My Grandma was there. My Mom was also there. He wanted to spank me. He actually got the belt and asked me to drop my pants and lie on the bed. I refused. I cried my heart out. It was so so humiliating. Now compare this to the scene with my grandfather. Anyway, my Grandma and my Mom got me out of it in time. I know this is not a traumatizing experience - but it certainly was for me. It is the worst memory I have, I think.

And speaking of spankings that do not make me angry - because they involve my Grandma who brought me up - I remember two specific times when I really got it. Once, when I was about 6 or 7, we were at my cousin's house. He was getting it regularly. It was no big deal to him. But it was a big deal to me. I know I insulted my Grandma, his Grandma, and I refused to eat my food. They chased me through the whole house, caught me, placed me on their laps, pulled down my underwear and slapped my butt good. It is funny, you know, two women running after me like mad. And it took two of them to hold me down and spank my butt. hehe Yes, my cousin witnessed it and even bragged about it to my aunt (which is his aunt, also). He was saying it so matter-of-factly, you know...

Second time - we had a dinner with my Grandma's brother in our house. I was about 5-6? My aunt and my uncle were there. I think my parents were also there but I am not sure. It was, I think, again related to eating (since I was refusing any and every food given to me) and most probably some back talking. My Grandma got mad, grabbed me, pulled down my underwear and spanked me right there, in front of them. No kicking back helped. Have I mentioned that I used to kick them reaaally bad? Hitting with legs and crap? hehe Anyway... then I sat my butt down on the carpet. And my Grandma's brother asked (in a context which I don't remember): "Is she punished to sit like that?" And my Grandma said: "If she were she wouldn't be sitting there."

Now, are these experiences enough to turn someone into a spanko? I have no clue...